“We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget.” -Joan Didion
In mid-2016 I was getting the sense the Lord was telling me I needed to delete my private online journal for safety and privacy reasons in the wake of a suspected cybersecurity issue (among other things). My LiveJournal (hello LJ friends who had access to my account!) had hundreds and hundreds of journal entries dating back to 2001. I had a strong emotional attachment to my journal. Long story short, I did delete my online journal but not before a lot of tears, hemming and hawing, deleting and undeleting. But before I made the final purge online, I compiled all my journal entries into a 970+ page .PDF document and stored it on my hard drive. (Sumunod nga kay Lord, pero kung makakalusot, lulusot)
When I read the highlighted verse today… I knew. I had to delete the .PDF, too 😥😭 so I did that just today. 15 years of my life… gone.
My reflection: we cannot have a new life if we keep holding on to our old lives, and we can’t start a new chapter if we keep rereading the old ones. Just as the enemy holds us back by bringing up our old issues, we cannot move forward if we keep entertaining the past. The old has gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17). So now… I’m truly and finally moving forward and I’m looking forward to seeing what NEW journal entries God wants me to write… in the safety of a paper journal.
And for all else, there’s this blog. If people are interested enough in what I write that they would go through the trouble of hacking into my private online journal… I’ll make my writings public then. They might learn a thing or two in the process.